The Pole

How a picture can evoke some unforgettable experience.

Yesterday at a local grocery, I noticed bunches of bananas hanging from the top; ready to be seen and sold. The normal shopper would glance from below and search for the best bet. The bananas must neither be too ripe nor too green. There must be a good combination so that the bunch can last long enough for a couple of days' consumption.

It is quite a chore having to pick and choose from below but nevertheless had to be done. When a final decision has been made, the next challenge was to get them down. So how do we do it?

Yes. The pole.

This pole has an end section which has a hook-like feature allowing the vendor to lift the string attached to the bunch of bananas. Yes, that's the exact needed device.

I remember surely the versatility of this device.

When I was a teenager, I used to help mama in her little shop selling clothes and the like. Like a seasoned vendor, I often get customers to buy mama's selection of bay clothes especially during festive seasons. Somehow, it was so natural in me to get the favour of the customers and I did a lot of sales for mama. If it had been in today's scene, I would have probably attained the top sales award.
But it was a dutiful gesture on my part then.
I had to help mama through the difficult days and the extra help I offered was appreciated by her. That is also why when I see my students assisting their parents in the wet market selling fish and the like, it evoked this sense of rightful behaviour and attitude. I am also very sure these children will grow up to be good , unassuming people and are ready to go through hardships.
Yes, for a good part of my childhood and teenage years, I had to slot through mama's business in the garment line and gain much hands-on experience with clothes and even sewing.
Mama employed seamstresses who catered to her customers' needs and that was partly where I picked up some sewing and stitching skills.
Not only that, there was this particular seamstress called Lin Yang who was very good at figures and mathematics. When I had problems with mathematics, I would go to her; sit beside the sewing machine and learn to solve problems. These are memories that are etched in me and forever remembered. Making the grade for arithmetic was truly challenging and I am grateful till this day for her timely intervention.
Oh I also remembered that as the daughter around the house, I would go wet marketing for mama early in the morning before gong to school. Mama instructed on the groceries and I walked a couple of miles before reaching the destination. Then mama cooked for her employees and I had my lunch before leaving for school in the afternoon. I did not complain much but seemed to enjoy the chores of the day. I truly was a good girl. But I am not supposed to compare the then days and today.
After all, life is different. Life is too good for many.
But believe me, you need some hard knocks in life to survive and some practices are best practised.

Well, so much for the story of the pole and its tales.

The Planner

The Bride

Sara has given much thought and planning to the long awaited day of her big day with Garrett.

When Garrett first proposed on Christmas eve 2014 , the planning began.

I did not pay much attention to the details never thinking that a wedding needed so many details.

But the determined girl gave no chance for untoward mistakes and took the reign for the best outcome.

First, there was the card to design. Both bride and groom took much effort in designing a card to their taste and style. The card has the personal touch of a desired product; sweet and calm.

This red velvet cake was also baked with style. When the size of the "hee" ( double happiness ) word was wrong, even the baker took pains to rectify and made it right; befitting the occasion.

The betrothal gifts were packed and selected according to requests and culture.

When the exchange was done, Sara cheekily concluded,  "Just to entertain you, mum."

Well, the Chinese culture needs to be observed to a certain degree as long as it does not clash with religious connotations. For surely it is good that a daughter married off is to be known by friends and relatives. We are grateful many took time off for us,

On the morning of the eve of the wedding day, the door was decorated with the red Chinese Ball on a 9 feet long material by the creative, thoughtful mother-in-law. With the double happiness blessings, surely it was a day to look forward to.

The red flowers on the blue porcelain jars added colours to the home and jubilated the mood.

What a myriad of hues.

Sara grew with friends; from primary to secondary and college days. Perhaps it is in her to have such thick friends at every juncture of her life. The truth is they stick together in their ups and downs and were here for her day travelling from all over the world. Faye, fourth from the right was the mastermind behind the bridal reception tricks which had all present in stitches.
You see those cotton skirts? The material and choice of colour was meticulously selected by the bride herself. She is into cotton and even included this passion in her wedding.

Garrett lacked no man friends too. They came in full force to make the path easier for him to enter the bride's room. The gate crashing ceremony was completed in full gaiety and explicitly composed by Faye and her comrades.

The Hen night was also gladly rejoiced with her girlfriends and they gave her the relentless support all the way through the different stages of the wedding.

The array of balloons in blue, pink and white all tied to the gatecrashers was the one of the hurdles they had to help the bridge groom get across. Boys are great. they are not afraid of noise and pains, They jumped, banged and hopped on the balloons;  ajob they had to complete before the next hurdle.

He passed the test and received his bride with relief.

The couple beamed with gratitude.

The many kilos shoat was a thanksgiving gift and was deliciously grilled to everyone's applause.

The sisters released her to the groom; I hope they stay friends forever helping one another through the thick and thin of life. The mother loves to see the siblings truly care for one another.

This is family to Sara and Garrett from this day.

Thank you dear God for the new family.

The ROM was conducted by Rev Eu at FGT on 03/06/2016 in the presence of God and the family.

At the gardens.

The girls are so beautiful and vivacious. Amelia from Scotland, Grace Wu from London, Suet and Sook Yi from Brisbane. They could not miss their pal's big day and forever etched as friends.

Look at the goodies on the candy table. Much effort was put in to make the occasion more memorable for the guests. Sara and Garrett gave much thought to the display and many were enchanted by the details. This surely needed planning and canniness. 

These are bottles of home formula for muffins. Every guest was presented one and  all they needed to do was to follow the instructions enclosed . " Tell Sara it was a treat indeed. Delicious!" That was a message received from a guest. Her close buddies came over during some weekends to pile up the ingredients and they must be jubilant to know that the "mug muffin" was superb.

The arch was personally devised by dad. At his workshop, dad chopped and shaped the arch according to the wish of Sara. I have been hearing the discussion from many months ago and finally saw the end product. The flower colour scheme was in tandem with the wedding card and indeed it was detailing at work.

The march began with the bridesmaids and ring bearer followed by the bride and her papa.

It was with great relief that the garden party could begin for before that the skies were playing at the strings of our hearts. It was dry and then wet and then the slight drizzle. Kit Yi, the coordinator on the extreme right was god sent. She had to bear the brunt of the uncertainty and made a bold final decision of having the marriage vows taken outdoor. 

Sara teared at the instant the vow was conducted out of relief; so many months of preparation and what with the thunderstorm and hailstorm the night before. God was faithful and rewarded her hard work and poured His blessings fully.

Thank you dear Jesus.

A family wedding cannot be executed without the presence of these little ones.

Yi Liz and Yi Jay children to cousin Vern and May together with Caeden, son to Shen and Pam were such a delight to have around. They complimented the wedding with their presence.

Papa accompanied his little girl for the final march to the alter. At a wedding reception the day after, he quoted his memory of personally sending Sara to the kindergarten each morning on the way to work and the little kisses that she blew on him. Papa said she is now slipping off his fingers and leaves the home for greater days ahead. He reiterated that Sara has many creative skills and all Garrett has to do is to tap on them. Papa says "find them." Yes, find them, Garrett.

To Garrett papa gives away his little girl.

The vows spoken and taken ; they are now officially husband and wife in the eyes of God with the blessings of the parents and siblings.

To the husband I pray he will be the partner who compliments her in most ways and to the wife I pray she will uphold him in submission and respect. Together they will be a team who will respond to life and practices approved by God. This godly union will indeed bring glory to the Almighty One who has seen to all their needs in times of call.

To God be the glory.

The Photo

Down Memory Lane

Surely it is true that a picture speaks a thousand words.

In Muar today, I could not help but trudge to the backyard that I was so familiar with in my growing years. The flower pot stand where some pots are still placed is the only sight that I could associate with my mum's green fingers and her love for flowers.

But the bougainvillea trees were definitely planted by my mother and how tall and unruly they have grown. When I showed mum the shot she immediately reiterated that the new owners do not love the garden. Mum had resided there for a good few decades and had taken much pride in her then well kept garden. So, she spoke with much pain and regret at the present status.

The backyard was the neighbourhood where my siblings and I used as our daily playground. We played hop scotch, shuttle cock games, hide and seek and everything under the sun. Mum and dad were mostly concerned about making meager earnings to make ends meet. They know no English.

Who would teach us to speak English?

The teachers in our schools of course. Who says children cannot learn under normal teaching and tuition is needed? We had no money for those extras. It was either you learn from one another or you are out. Thank you teachers.

Who taught us Mandarin?

The POL classes in school. Thank you teachers.

Who taught us the little Bahasa Melayu we knew then?

The teachers in school of course. Thank you teachers.

Having being brought around a rich neighbourhood of varied language users, we spoke Teo chew, Hokkien, Hakka and thrive successfully as linguists.

Thanks to hardship and street wisdom that we survived.

Circumstances do shape the quality and values we are brought up. Not having the best under the sun does not equate with right living. We need to listen to parents and their principles and follow when appropriate. Seldom do parents not want to impart right values.

It was at this very spot when it was clean and neat then that I had memories of girl friends and boy friends. My girl friends would pop over for my mum's tasteful dishes for lunches after school. My mother knew most of my friends then and some still visit her till this day.

It was also here that boy friends came to court my siblings and I ! We would spend hours chatting and exchange high opinions ! Hahaha so very often we would gather together for supper and even durian eating. Oh , today I went all nostalgic recalling those times but it was surely a place of many events and turmoil too. My father who was very stoic then could even slam the door driving all the boys away ! Who said you can allow boys to come ? Mum was more understanding; she was afraid we were not able to be married off so she was more tolerant and allowed courtships! She has sharp eyes and opined quite accurately about them; so the boys were smart. They befriended her first and when she was on their side, my father followed suit. This principle of courtship surely is still relevant today. Try it, boys.

Many more to be recalled. It would take a while but I need to pause now to allow the best memoirs to be recounted. So that's it for now.

The backyard siblings.

The Duo

Today is truly special.

It's Mother's Day.

It's Emily's first birthday.

The duo do have quiet moments like this.

They are 4 generations apart by God's grace. Great grandma smiles down at the little one just as if it was Grace when she was then a baby like Emily.

To my mother I have this to say:

A lady of great tenacity

She fought the battle after a fall 

Day by day she endured the pains

Her back she had to mend.

She is determined to be back on her feet

Against all odds she went forth

Doctors are amazed at her positive outlook

Nothing would compel her to concede to defeat.

Mother even in her lowest moments

Never failed to declare that she would be well

As she looks forward to a full recovery

When she can enjoy normalcy again.

Today we want to praise God

For indeed her daily communion with Him

Has given her the inner strength to trust

And believe all is going to be well.

Thank you dear Por Por

For showing us that steely grit

That indeed the battle can be won

In God's good timing

In her nineties

Por Por is still gung ho about life

Her loved ones are grateful

That she has done a good job

May the Good Lord ever be with you and bless you with many more years to come. A devoted mother, she still covers her generations of offspring with prayers each day and every one of them she remembers lovingly by name.

Thank you dear God for her.

To my grand daughter Emily, I have this to say:

Precious one,

You have brought much joy to us

Your grandfather is mesmerized by you

Work he puts aside for you.

Pray you will bloom 

Into that fair lady

Approved and favoured by God

Bringing joy to all

May you have a heart for others

Walk in God's ways

Not forgetting to ask him for leading

The roads you have to tread

Happy first birthday.

Emily at birth.

Grandpa dotes on her tirelessly.

Her first sit ups.

 Her first solids.

 Her poses.

Celebrating her first birthday in Italy.

She is now 1!

Happy Birthday girl.

What a day.

The Love of a Mother

Immeasurable and Long Lasting.

I have been long in the education field to see how anxiety can overwhelm a mother and the efforts taken to provide the needs of her brood. Much is done to cater to the many demands of a child; getting them into a suitable learning environment then to ensure the best influence be upon them.
When the offspring face learning challenges, desperation crops in in search of best practices and solutions. The best is subjective and patience is the antidote.
Actually, a temporal displacement is not the end for the journey is long and arduous in the walk of a child on this earth. Learning development also differs among individuals and much wisdom is desired to see a situation objectively.

When I was a young mother, I was not spared of the above. Education and school was the only thing that truly mattered and I went through great length to make sure the best possible be upon my children. Occasionally, I let go when some of them refuse to compete grade 8 on the piano and chucked the learning of Mandarin. I was too tired to fulfill my ambition into their learning and maybe that was good for did it matter in the end? On the hind side, I can safely say it does not. Perhaps the best that I can say is water will always find its own level and we need to know how to withdraw when the going gets tough. Maybe we should allow the innate and natural take its course and the child somehow will find the appropriate level.

Can I add that it is the appropriation of time on learning right attitudes in life that matter the most? Even at a tender age, children lie and strategize to cover their lies to escape the rod in the home and the school. It is spending time correcting and getting them back on track each time that counts. Again and again the reminder must be administered for when the right attitude happens, the child is safe. You do not have to be an ace student to achieve the last word. Attitude and appropriate behaviour can change circumstances. Your bosses look for them when they want to employ you. Many times it is the mediocre child with positive attitudes that enjoy the trust and love of all around them. So, my outlook of things has surely differed or is it because age has seriously a say in this?

Well, the same goes to many more happenings in later life; jobs, life partners, grandchildren and the like. Do not be anxious; the Good Book again and again remind us but in everything commit them to the Lord. Yes, learning to take it by the day and see the natural transpire. But, in the going ins and outs I truly enjoy and agree with a song called the Sabbath Prayer from the movie Fiddler on The Roof and I believe the powerful prayer uttered by the parents still stay good till this very day. That I surely willingly concur.

Hear the song :

Yes, it is good to commit my children into God's hands each day that indeed I shall not be anxious but trust in this prayer for them.

Happy Mother's Day

J & J

No, it's not Johnson & Johnson.

Neither is it Jack & Jill.

It's John & Julietta!

Congratulations to the newly weds !

Yes, the nephew has finally decided on the bride.

John tied the knot last Saturday amidst a large family gathering from all sides. 

There were all in all more than 30 sessions of tea ceremony that was conducted with relatives from all over including the bride's loved ones from Argentina. 

So it was indeed a joyous occasion with the Malay registrar declaring the marriage vow in the best delivery.

The Chong boys have grown up and soon all will follow the elder brother's step and getting themselves their life partners.

 Having finished their tertiary education in Melbourne, the place is now their new found home where they reside and work.

But, Malaysia is special; always the motherland that gave them the platform to what they have achieved. 

Truly, the world is so globalized that it is only a flight away. 

Home surely is where the heart is.

The matriarch and patriarch are perhaps the best examples of finding home where survival was the call of the day. Originated from the Chinese land, the nonagenarians went through more than 9 decades of toil to set up a home away from home and today are the proud parents, grandparents, great great grandparents of children that are countless in number.

Por Por and Kong Kong are truly blessed with good descendants who do them proud. 

We want to let them know we are blessed to have them as our fore fathers too.

See, a huge number and it is not the all. Some are missing from the group as time did not permit them to be with us. 

To God be the glory for He has surely saved each and everyone of us in the home. From a soul, the promise covered each and everyone of us as stated in

Acts 16:31

Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household.”

God is good; merciful to the home.

To God be the highest praise for the gift of salvation.

Michelle

Her Love Affair

Into songs and recitals
Little Michelle is surely versatile
You know she is around
When rhymes are in the air

She pops into the office
The little duck she plays
Amelia knows when she is not around
When the duck in position it stays

Sweet and demure
You hardly are mad at her
For she quickly redeems her misdoings
Sorry and pardon are quick on her lips

Sometimes in a world of her own
She speaks a language so right and true
"Stop talking" to the noisy ones
"Good morning Madam Chong" every morning she greets

We feel her absence when she is not around
Even the children remark
Ms Sumathi chides everyone
But truly has the softest spot for her

So, it is with the greatest pleasure
When she sometimes occupies her time
In the office
And goes..Five little ducks
                 Went out one day
                 Over the hill and far away
                 Mother duck said
                 Quack quack quack quack
                 But only four little ducks came back...

Sweet Michelle