Changes

The Noodle Man

We change all the time; in looks, health, age and attitude. Some tastes however can remain a favourite. The noodle man of my hometown is one who delivers wanton noodle the same way for decades. Whenever  I go to Muar, it is difficult to resist a plate at his humble store. Mr Liew was a novice in his younger days when his dad was still alive. He used to be the one to serve customers but he has been the chef since his dad's demise.
His dad used to serve on a backlane right behind but now the town council does not allow hawkers to serve along lanes. So Mr Liew could have bought this piece of property just to service us.
A man of very few words, I have yet to see his hands not preparing noodles whenever I dropped over. Business is brisk and his usual advice would be : it is going to be a long wait. But what is a wait?

During our good old school days, my siblings and I used to gather at his stall for supper. His friendly dad would speak to us in Hakka and serve us scrumptious rat-tail noodles with generous portions of minced meat. Even if siblings change in outlooks, the love for Ah Khong's noodles remains.

So, while I may concur that his stall is one of the oldest in town still serving noodles the old-fashioned way. I cannot say of the other happenings in this quaint town.

I noticed that there has been an influx of foreigners and I gather they are the immigrant workers serving the numerous factories mushrooming here. Everywhere grocery stores serving Nepalese goods are apparent and it is a far cry from the past when the locals were the owners. Much as I have to accept changes, this is one change that is difficult to swallow as I miss the ambiance of our local touch and culture. The town has changed.

Noticeably too is the cleanliness. Muar has been voted the cleanest in the country and the town council take pride in making it look good and  clean all the time. The back lanes are rid of garbage and walking along them is no ordeal. This change is prideful.

The connection with the town still holds because my parents are still a part of the town. Having resided here for more than 90 years, it takes a lot of them to leave the town and its familiar air, food and friends. I can feel their pain but when in your twilight years, the move is necessary for survival. This is another real change. We now go back to the town for visits only and the old folks cannot be left alone even with a maid. We are trying to find best solutions to adaptations physically , emotionally and mentally. One day, we will all grow old too and expect changes.

Looking at the changes albeit most are for the better, it is good if we can still retain a little of the old ethos and feelings for the town so the older generation will not feel lost. However,change is imminent.

Taking the coach from TBS, a bus terminal in the heart of Kuala Lumpur to Muar was perhaps the best change ever. The service is world class, clean, efficient and punctual. It is the country's proud change from the former terminal.

Yes, some things remain old and nostalgic, but TBS, the modern change is for every citizen, visitor and tourist to enjoy. Come visit through her service. Malaysia's innovative move.

Changes

Growing Old

Growing old is not easy.

Walking around the guarded gardens, a chatty lady in her 80s walked up to me and babbled " Aunty ah, which lane leads to your house?" I pointed to a certain direction and she went "Oh, I see, I see. I am here for a short stay with my son. His house is over there." So, we went pointing here and there which was of no interest to me.

But I like her as she has that friendly disposition, very often missing in city folks. She did not think I was not quite ready for her confessions and opinions until I seriously looked at her and admit she did share a whole lot of practical truths. The lessons learnt from her years of getting old got into me.

First, she admitted that she must not demand anything more from her 5 sons and 2 daughters who have allowed her to visit them on a rotation basis. She admits that her daughters know her and are close to her and that daughters in law are only there to help build her sons' families and that she must not assume any rights in their obligations to her. "That is reality, that is reality", she ranted away. She is already grateful that there are no unnecessary scenes. She kept reminding herself that she is already fortunate that God has been good to her. She could not ask for more.
Also, she must not try to give too many opinions or complain too much lest she is being avoided by loved ones. Hard knocks indeed.

Second, she asked if I had any grand children and I said I had one. She caused a little anxiety when she related that she had sets of grandchildren; some brought up by her and some not. The ones whom she was the care giver were very much closer to her and called her when they went overseas for studies and visited her when they came back for their holidays. The ones not cared by here were a "hi" and "bye" lot. She felt the difference but did not blame the situation as that was a reality that she had to adhere to. So, Should I be a care giver?

Third, She hails from Bentong, once a rural village and sharing and caring among the villagers were the values she holds dearly. She confesses that it is more difficult in the city as everyone is busy. She is already happy she has met a few of her age and she said she would look for them for a game of mahjong. So, one has to be kept busy to while away time. Time is in your hands especially when you are an octogenarian as though trying not to get into the ways of the younger ones. Redundant? Very sad indeed.

Next, "Aunty, who are staying with you now?" Well only the wife and husband. Children are grown ups and leading their own lives. She quickly associated herself with the position and shared that it is so difficult to prepare meals for two. Growing old also meant she now takes a small portion and that a bowl of noodles is sufficient for her and her spouse. No wonder she was so lean and trim. So, it means service bills are higher than food bills. So, actually there is no need to save, save, save. Spend while you can and whenever you want.

Back home my nonagenarian parents have other issues to deal with.
For one, they have to accept that they no longer have so called friends and buddies who will come to their aid as before. They feel unimportant and no more able to rely on folks who used to aid them. Worst still, there seems to be a lack of respect for them.

Lack of physical mobility discourage them from outdoor activities and boredom has been the call of the day. Occupying themselves is a major issue as they have no other hobbies except reading the papers, watching the box and chatting with ones who pay them visits. Rotational visits to children do not interest them as they dislike being a burden to be chauffeured. They have much pride and want to be on their own but the incessant calls from them also do not reflect their independence. They are fighting hard against loneliness.

Dad used to be so physically fit and mum's great fall three years ago took a toll on her. Yet, they have tried their best to be on their own and leading days as well as they can. Growing old requires skills and accommodations. It is truly not easy.

God protect them, I pray.

The Parks

  A walk in the parks.

Singapore has many parks. The island has many recreational sections which cater to the urban folks. The island is small but so well equipped with facilities that benefit its people. When the girls pleaded for us to go down last weekend, we decided that we should honour them and pay them a visit.

After all it's Father's Day .

However, the truth be revealed. Papa longs for Emily and would agree at the first instant. He enjoys her tremendously; playing and talking to her in baby terms.
Grandpa will normally stop all regular work and entertain grand daughter.
So, it is not strange that Emily prefers granddad to anyone else in the home including mama Grace.

When Emily woke up from her short nap, she was greeted with the best surprise.

It's granddad in town. She ran her fingers all over his face and gave him that grin that breaks his heart . Very soon, granddad took upon himself to walk with her at the neighbourhood park. Strapped to him, Emily seemed ready to conquer the world.To the park, they heard birds chirped, cats purred and dogs barked. Little Emily, innocent in all ways is easily excited by the things she sees around her and in babyish speech communicates with granddad in great harmony. Yes, they really enjoy each other's company. Even at one, Emily already knows granddad dotes on her and can get away with anything when he is around her.

As we trotted round the park. we also men and women of all ages exercised using the facilities parked there. There were soccer and volleyball matches and some merely walked the miles to discard calories.

Like anywhere else in the world, the older folks are taken to the recreational surroundings by maids. While I noticed the old man nodding off in loneliness, the caregiver was chatting away loudly with a friend over the phone. It is not an unusual phenomena but it quickly brought me to remember my own parents back home and I wondered what they were doing. We begin to realise we are also nearing the era and while our feet can still carry us, we will attempt long distance walks and we decided to try the Mt Faber trail.

After the short stroll along the neighbourhood park, we left Emily home and scour the Faber Hill in a bid to reach Esther's home at Portsdown. Dad said it was a mere 40 minute walk which I believed was so achievable. So, armed with determination, we walked and walked.

Overlooking the hill, are panoramic scenes that cover the southern part and Keppel Port. It was breathtaking and throngs of walkers were taking the weekend as reason for that exercise. Granddad kept ranting that he should have lugged Emily along and that she would have screamed in elation. 

There were markings to show milestones and two noticeable spots were the Henderson Waves and the Hilltop Forest Walk. Here and there we watched families come out in droves for the coveted outings.

Dad mentioned that Alkaff Mansion refers to an old colonial bungalow with huge green grounds turned into a much sought after event area where weddings and other functions are held. All along the walk we saw colonial black and white bungalows and barracks once resided by the Whites who came to the island. They are still standing tall till this day.

The well-maintained walkway surrounded by rich flora and fauna are indeed therapeutic to the tired souls and the energetic lot. We have not walked for such a stretch for a long while and dad clocked his steps.

Yes, we did it!

We walked 15300 steps in 90 minutes before finally hit the door of Esther's abode.

Esther likes to be surrounded by nature. She does not mind the old look; she loves to be in sync with anything to do with architecture. So, for her to seek a barrack for stay is nothing unusual.

The morning walk was a calculated move.

We were prepared for a colossal dinner in celebration of Father's Day that evening.

I am beginning to realise that when extended families get together , it is always meals and a lot, a lot, a lot of money spent. We tend to succumb to treats in the name of celebration.

So, it was not surprising we landed at Sentosa Island for the meal of the day. I do not have to go into great details but enough to say it was Chinese fine dining with great service. Many courses were served and I wondered who the cook was.

Noodles were cooked tastefully and all seafood and meat were prepared with the finest touch. I had some guilt; to indulge in such meals.

We ended dinner with this sweet; Emily enjoyed it most.

I was truly concerned about the bill; felt we had overspent and dug deep into the girls' pockets.

Yes, this was where we dined and the cook was a  Master Chef judge...

No wonder all dishes tasted good with a polished touch.

Well, it is Father's Day. So we accepted gracefully in gratitude.

A good weekend indeed in Singapore.

The Pole

How a picture can evoke some unforgettable experience.

Yesterday at a local grocery, I noticed bunches of bananas hanging from the top; ready to be seen and sold. The normal shopper would glance from below and search for the best bet. The bananas must neither be too ripe nor too green. There must be a good combination so that the bunch can last long enough for a couple of days' consumption.

It is quite a chore having to pick and choose from below but nevertheless had to be done. When a final decision has been made, the next challenge was to get them down. So how do we do it?

Yes. The pole.

This pole has an end section which has a hook-like feature allowing the vendor to lift the string attached to the bunch of bananas. Yes, that's the exact needed device.

I remember surely the versatility of this device.

When I was a teenager, I used to help mama in her little shop selling clothes and the like. Like a seasoned vendor, I often get customers to buy mama's selection of bay clothes especially during festive seasons. Somehow, it was so natural in me to get the favour of the customers and I did a lot of sales for mama. If it had been in today's scene, I would have probably attained the top sales award.
But it was a dutiful gesture on my part then.
I had to help mama through the difficult days and the extra help I offered was appreciated by her. That is also why when I see my students assisting their parents in the wet market selling fish and the like, it evoked this sense of rightful behaviour and attitude. I am also very sure these children will grow up to be good , unassuming people and are ready to go through hardships.
Yes, for a good part of my childhood and teenage years, I had to slot through mama's business in the garment line and gain much hands-on experience with clothes and even sewing.
Mama employed seamstresses who catered to her customers' needs and that was partly where I picked up some sewing and stitching skills.
Not only that, there was this particular seamstress called Lin Yang who was very good at figures and mathematics. When I had problems with mathematics, I would go to her; sit beside the sewing machine and learn to solve problems. These are memories that are etched in me and forever remembered. Making the grade for arithmetic was truly challenging and I am grateful till this day for her timely intervention.
Oh I also remembered that as the daughter around the house, I would go wet marketing for mama early in the morning before gong to school. Mama instructed on the groceries and I walked a couple of miles before reaching the destination. Then mama cooked for her employees and I had my lunch before leaving for school in the afternoon. I did not complain much but seemed to enjoy the chores of the day. I truly was a good girl. But I am not supposed to compare the then days and today.
After all, life is different. Life is too good for many.
But believe me, you need some hard knocks in life to survive and some practices are best practised.

Well, so much for the story of the pole and its tales.

The Planner

The Bride

Sara has given much thought and planning to the long awaited day of her big day with Garrett.

When Garrett first proposed on Christmas eve 2014 , the planning began.

I did not pay much attention to the details never thinking that a wedding needed so many details.

But the determined girl gave no chance for untoward mistakes and took the reign for the best outcome.

First, there was the card to design. Both bride and groom took much effort in designing a card to their taste and style. The card has the personal touch of a desired product; sweet and calm.

This red velvet cake was also baked with style. When the size of the "hee" ( double happiness ) word was wrong, even the baker took pains to rectify and made it right; befitting the occasion.

The betrothal gifts were packed and selected according to requests and culture.

When the exchange was done, Sara cheekily concluded,  "Just to entertain you, mum."

Well, the Chinese culture needs to be observed to a certain degree as long as it does not clash with religious connotations. For surely it is good that a daughter married off is to be known by friends and relatives. We are grateful many took time off for us,

On the morning of the eve of the wedding day, the door was decorated with the red Chinese Ball on a 9 feet long material by the creative, thoughtful mother-in-law. With the double happiness blessings, surely it was a day to look forward to.

The red flowers on the blue porcelain jars added colours to the home and jubilated the mood.

What a myriad of hues.

Sara grew with friends; from primary to secondary and college days. Perhaps it is in her to have such thick friends at every juncture of her life. The truth is they stick together in their ups and downs and were here for her day travelling from all over the world. Faye, fourth from the right was the mastermind behind the bridal reception tricks which had all present in stitches.
You see those cotton skirts? The material and choice of colour was meticulously selected by the bride herself. She is into cotton and even included this passion in her wedding.

Garrett lacked no man friends too. They came in full force to make the path easier for him to enter the bride's room. The gate crashing ceremony was completed in full gaiety and explicitly composed by Faye and her comrades.

The Hen night was also gladly rejoiced with her girlfriends and they gave her the relentless support all the way through the different stages of the wedding.

The array of balloons in blue, pink and white all tied to the gatecrashers was the one of the hurdles they had to help the bridge groom get across. Boys are great. they are not afraid of noise and pains, They jumped, banged and hopped on the balloons;  ajob they had to complete before the next hurdle.

He passed the test and received his bride with relief.

The couple beamed with gratitude.

The many kilos shoat was a thanksgiving gift and was deliciously grilled to everyone's applause.

The sisters released her to the groom; I hope they stay friends forever helping one another through the thick and thin of life. The mother loves to see the siblings truly care for one another.

This is family to Sara and Garrett from this day.

Thank you dear God for the new family.

The ROM was conducted by Rev Eu at FGT on 03/06/2016 in the presence of God and the family.

At the gardens.

The girls are so beautiful and vivacious. Amelia from Scotland, Grace Wu from London, Suet and Sook Yi from Brisbane. They could not miss their pal's big day and forever etched as friends.

Look at the goodies on the candy table. Much effort was put in to make the occasion more memorable for the guests. Sara and Garrett gave much thought to the display and many were enchanted by the details. This surely needed planning and canniness. 

These are bottles of home formula for muffins. Every guest was presented one and  all they needed to do was to follow the instructions enclosed . " Tell Sara it was a treat indeed. Delicious!" That was a message received from a guest. Her close buddies came over during some weekends to pile up the ingredients and they must be jubilant to know that the "mug muffin" was superb.

The arch was personally devised by dad. At his workshop, dad chopped and shaped the arch according to the wish of Sara. I have been hearing the discussion from many months ago and finally saw the end product. The flower colour scheme was in tandem with the wedding card and indeed it was detailing at work.

The march began with the bridesmaids and ring bearer followed by the bride and her papa.

It was with great relief that the garden party could begin for before that the skies were playing at the strings of our hearts. It was dry and then wet and then the slight drizzle. Kit Yi, the coordinator on the extreme right was god sent. She had to bear the brunt of the uncertainty and made a bold final decision of having the marriage vows taken outdoor. 

Sara teared at the instant the vow was conducted out of relief; so many months of preparation and what with the thunderstorm and hailstorm the night before. God was faithful and rewarded her hard work and poured His blessings fully.

Thank you dear Jesus.

A family wedding cannot be executed without the presence of these little ones.

Yi Liz and Yi Jay children to cousin Vern and May together with Caeden, son to Shen and Pam were such a delight to have around. They complimented the wedding with their presence.

Papa accompanied his little girl for the final march to the alter. At a wedding reception the day after, he quoted his memory of personally sending Sara to the kindergarten each morning on the way to work and the little kisses that she blew on him. Papa said she is now slipping off his fingers and leaves the home for greater days ahead. He reiterated that Sara has many creative skills and all Garrett has to do is to tap on them. Papa says "find them." Yes, find them, Garrett.

To Garrett papa gives away his little girl.

The vows spoken and taken ; they are now officially husband and wife in the eyes of God with the blessings of the parents and siblings.

To the husband I pray he will be the partner who compliments her in most ways and to the wife I pray she will uphold him in submission and respect. Together they will be a team who will respond to life and practices approved by God. This godly union will indeed bring glory to the Almighty One who has seen to all their needs in times of call.

To God be the glory.