The Photo

Down Memory Lane

Surely it is true that a picture speaks a thousand words.

In Muar today, I could not help but trudge to the backyard that I was so familiar with in my growing years. The flower pot stand where some pots are still placed is the only sight that I could associate with my mum's green fingers and her love for flowers.

But the bougainvillea trees were definitely planted by my mother and how tall and unruly they have grown. When I showed mum the shot she immediately reiterated that the new owners do not love the garden. Mum had resided there for a good few decades and had taken much pride in her then well kept garden. So, she spoke with much pain and regret at the present status.

The backyard was the neighbourhood where my siblings and I used as our daily playground. We played hop scotch, shuttle cock games, hide and seek and everything under the sun. Mum and dad were mostly concerned about making meager earnings to make ends meet. They know no English.

Who would teach us to speak English?

The teachers in our schools of course. Who says children cannot learn under normal teaching and tuition is needed? We had no money for those extras. It was either you learn from one another or you are out. Thank you teachers.

Who taught us Mandarin?

The POL classes in school. Thank you teachers.

Who taught us the little Bahasa Melayu we knew then?

The teachers in school of course. Thank you teachers.

Having being brought around a rich neighbourhood of varied language users, we spoke Teo chew, Hokkien, Hakka and thrive successfully as linguists.

Thanks to hardship and street wisdom that we survived.

Circumstances do shape the quality and values we are brought up. Not having the best under the sun does not equate with right living. We need to listen to parents and their principles and follow when appropriate. Seldom do parents not want to impart right values.

It was at this very spot when it was clean and neat then that I had memories of girl friends and boy friends. My girl friends would pop over for my mum's tasteful dishes for lunches after school. My mother knew most of my friends then and some still visit her till this day.

It was also here that boy friends came to court my siblings and I ! We would spend hours chatting and exchange high opinions ! Hahaha so very often we would gather together for supper and even durian eating. Oh , today I went all nostalgic recalling those times but it was surely a place of many events and turmoil too. My father who was very stoic then could even slam the door driving all the boys away ! Who said you can allow boys to come ? Mum was more understanding; she was afraid we were not able to be married off so she was more tolerant and allowed courtships! She has sharp eyes and opined quite accurately about them; so the boys were smart. They befriended her first and when she was on their side, my father followed suit. This principle of courtship surely is still relevant today. Try it, boys.

Many more to be recalled. It would take a while but I need to pause now to allow the best memoirs to be recounted. So that's it for now.

The backyard siblings.

The Duo

Today is truly special.

It's Mother's Day.

It's Emily's first birthday.

The duo do have quiet moments like this.

They are 4 generations apart by God's grace. Great grandma smiles down at the little one just as if it was Grace when she was then a baby like Emily.

To my mother I have this to say:

A lady of great tenacity

She fought the battle after a fall 

Day by day she endured the pains

Her back she had to mend.

She is determined to be back on her feet

Against all odds she went forth

Doctors are amazed at her positive outlook

Nothing would compel her to concede to defeat.

Mother even in her lowest moments

Never failed to declare that she would be well

As she looks forward to a full recovery

When she can enjoy normalcy again.

Today we want to praise God

For indeed her daily communion with Him

Has given her the inner strength to trust

And believe all is going to be well.

Thank you dear Por Por

For showing us that steely grit

That indeed the battle can be won

In God's good timing

In her nineties

Por Por is still gung ho about life

Her loved ones are grateful

That she has done a good job

May the Good Lord ever be with you and bless you with many more years to come. A devoted mother, she still covers her generations of offspring with prayers each day and every one of them she remembers lovingly by name.

Thank you dear God for her.

To my grand daughter Emily, I have this to say:

Precious one,

You have brought much joy to us

Your grandfather is mesmerized by you

Work he puts aside for you.

Pray you will bloom 

Into that fair lady

Approved and favoured by God

Bringing joy to all

May you have a heart for others

Walk in God's ways

Not forgetting to ask him for leading

The roads you have to tread

Happy first birthday.

Emily at birth.

Grandpa dotes on her tirelessly.

Her first sit ups.

 Her first solids.

 Her poses.

Celebrating her first birthday in Italy.

She is now 1!

Happy Birthday girl.

What a day.

The Love of a Mother

Immeasurable and Long Lasting.

I have been long in the education field to see how anxiety can overwhelm a mother and the efforts taken to provide the needs of her brood. Much is done to cater to the many demands of a child; getting them into a suitable learning environment then to ensure the best influence be upon them.
When the offspring face learning challenges, desperation crops in in search of best practices and solutions. The best is subjective and patience is the antidote.
Actually, a temporal displacement is not the end for the journey is long and arduous in the walk of a child on this earth. Learning development also differs among individuals and much wisdom is desired to see a situation objectively.

When I was a young mother, I was not spared of the above. Education and school was the only thing that truly mattered and I went through great length to make sure the best possible be upon my children. Occasionally, I let go when some of them refuse to compete grade 8 on the piano and chucked the learning of Mandarin. I was too tired to fulfill my ambition into their learning and maybe that was good for did it matter in the end? On the hind side, I can safely say it does not. Perhaps the best that I can say is water will always find its own level and we need to know how to withdraw when the going gets tough. Maybe we should allow the innate and natural take its course and the child somehow will find the appropriate level.

Can I add that it is the appropriation of time on learning right attitudes in life that matter the most? Even at a tender age, children lie and strategize to cover their lies to escape the rod in the home and the school. It is spending time correcting and getting them back on track each time that counts. Again and again the reminder must be administered for when the right attitude happens, the child is safe. You do not have to be an ace student to achieve the last word. Attitude and appropriate behaviour can change circumstances. Your bosses look for them when they want to employ you. Many times it is the mediocre child with positive attitudes that enjoy the trust and love of all around them. So, my outlook of things has surely differed or is it because age has seriously a say in this?

Well, the same goes to many more happenings in later life; jobs, life partners, grandchildren and the like. Do not be anxious; the Good Book again and again remind us but in everything commit them to the Lord. Yes, learning to take it by the day and see the natural transpire. But, in the going ins and outs I truly enjoy and agree with a song called the Sabbath Prayer from the movie Fiddler on The Roof and I believe the powerful prayer uttered by the parents still stay good till this very day. That I surely willingly concur.

Hear the song :

Yes, it is good to commit my children into God's hands each day that indeed I shall not be anxious but trust in this prayer for them.

Happy Mother's Day